The Return to the Inner Blade written by: Michael A Gomez April 26, 2026

Section 1 — The Return to the Chest

Well, now that my mind is not hijacked like in the moments of the loop, as that abated I could feel it returning to my chest — the genuine feeling of the very center of my being in my chest area. The movement of that sincere spirit was there even as the loop happened, but my mind was hijacked.That’s not an excuse. It’s just the language I’m using to explain the loop and the state of mind.And I know I could have stopped it at some point — at any point, really. Early, later, in the middle. I could have stopped it, and I didn’t. That’s on me. That’s a teaching moment for next time.So I would say: in the chest, the upper region, around the heart.I don’t feel like I failed. I have to have the proper understanding of that and not allow those feelings to creep in and crush me, causing me to doubt my walk and doubt everything about it.I have to protect that within me. The Dharma must be protected within me. The Buddha‑nature must be protected against the harmful thoughts that arise from within.And so I need that cutting edge of the figurative sword — the Dharma — to cut through the lies, to cut through the ego within me. As that sword cuts away those things, I can be sculpted and shaped by the other sword within. Then I become more aligned in my walk, and there is a true simplicity that is centered.

Section 2 — The Clarity That Comes With Practice

The kind of clarity that comes with mindfulness and awareness — even in the process of the mind being hijacked in the loop — shows that there is still a possibility and hope to return.To me, that is the true practice of continual awareness and mindfulness.The further along a person progresses, the better their focus becomes. The more they live in awareness and mindfulness, the more prepared they are for the defense of the Dharma and the surrender to the Dharma within.Those proverbial swords — opposing, opposite, yet working together — both operate on behalf of the individual within.The figurative sword is meant to protect. It is also meant to shave away rough edges, to bring clarity, to lead to the attainment of newfound wisdom.If I benefit from that wisdom, others around me will benefit as well.And this is without being religious about it. This is simply what it is.

Section 3 — Standing on Sacred Ground Within

What you said about standing in that place of the Dharma within — that is like sacred ground inside you. For a person going through true transformation, the decisions are always there:- to be disappointed – to give up – or to be resolute To be resolved with conviction: No, I’m going to keep walking.Experience has been my teacher in the past. In moments when it seemed like I failed — over the years of my life — did I really stick with the thing and keep going? Maybe I did for a little while. But what I noticed was: I gave up. I let up. Maybe I stayed, but I wasn’t serious moving forward.There was fear. There was doubt. There was the worry of looking a certain way to people and being revealed as “not that.”But when true transformation is taking place, the decision still exists — yet it feels different.You can decide:- Yes, I’m going to continue to walk. – Or no, and be discouraged, disappointed, and take a detour. But the right choice is: keep walking. Keep practicing. Keep doing everything involved in the walk.The practice in the heart, the structure of the Theravāda, the discipline of Zen philosophy — these will continue to shape and mold you.Just keep walking.There will be falls. There will be moments that look like failure. But don’t be disappointed by those things.Keep walking in the way of the Dharma.Things will be exposed that need to be exposed. It will happen.The sword — the figurative sword — will cut inside you. Perhaps through decisions you make. But it will also shape and mold you.If a person is a sincere seeker, and sincerity is in their walk, the transformation is real. It will continue. That person will evolve, grow, and mature.Consistency and resolve matter. “I’m going to continue.” That is not failure. That was a teaching moment. The teacher showed up.Did I respond right away? Maybe not every time. But I believe I’m responding more and more.At some point — whether immediately, quickly, or after a delay — I see the teacher is here.What is being said to me? What is being shown?Even in the moments when I’m lost in the loop — not lost beyond escape, because there is always the possibility to get out — I must be resolute. I must have conviction. Just because an action has begun does not mean it must continue to its final culmination. If I only went 20%, the moment is still here. The teacher is still here. Listen.

The Dharma within is too valuable, too precious, too sacred. The further away I am from the loop, the more clarity I have. The further away I am from triggers, the more clarity I feel. So my teacher says: What are the subtle things in the process? What happens when the loop comes? When the charge or intensity rises? What is the surge saying?Listen.Listen to the parts within you. Always be willing to hear the truth of the Dharma.

Section 4 — Entering the Subtle Moment

Open to truth — truth about myself, within myself. Truth about the workings of my mind and emotions. Truth about where I “short‑circuit.”What happens before the short circuit? What is going on there? Sometimes I begin to use excuses as it goes along. Not throughout the whole time — but as the pre‑loop forms and the loop enters full swing. People do that. They justify their actions. Most people do. But what is happening before that? Those are the precious, small moments. Moments where there is an agreement with something it is better not to agree with.I want to enter that moment — psychologically, emotionally. That moment is the key moment.Not that I’ll get it right all the time. But with growth and maturity, there will be fewer loops. And when loops occur, they won’t be as severe. And when they do occur, they won’t be as many.That’s not an excuse. That’s simply the truth of human experience.We will face things. We will get emotionally charged. We will encounter subtle decision points.Let’s enter the subtlety. What is it saying? Let’s look at it clearly.Right now, that subtle moment is not happening — but the awareness of it is.To have awareness of that subtle presence — whatever it may be — is to create the “aha” moment:This is where I close the door. It is all in the mind. And the heart and mind work together. And the mind is kept from the loop.

AlcheMyth Undergr0und 2032

Undergr0und_Guru Communications 2026